Thoughts on faith

What is faith? It's ultimately a relationship between two people. Where a relationship exists, faith exists. Even strained relationships presuppose some type of connection, even if it's less than ideal.

Jesus lifts up the faith of a child as a model. What does that faith look like?

I doubt there are many people, especially parents, who would doubt the reality that young children have faith in their parents. From infancy to toddler years that faith is nearly absolute. It's utter and complete dependence and reliance on the parent. They believe that the parent will always be there for them. This belief isn't based on any cognitive assertion or rational argument, it's part of the fiber of their very being.

As the child grows into the pre-school years that faith matures. They begin to assert their own ideas that may at times be totally at odds with the parents'. But even at times of flagrant disobedience, the child is still ultimately faithful to the parent. They reside in the parents' home, and they assert their own ideas only because they unconscientiously believe that no matter what happens they won't be thrown out on the street. They assert themselves, but only because they ultimately believe that their parents will keep them safe and keep up their end of the relationship.

As a child gets older, more and more of their thoughts and beliefs about the world come from sources other than their parents. The child must weigh these new worldviews in light of their currently-held view which largely came from their parents (or the media the parents encouraged the child to watch).

It is the hope of every good parent that as their child matures the child will retain the set of beliefs they were taught as a child. Doing so, in effect, is affirming the primary position of the child's parent as the wise and correct teacher of the ways things are.

It is obviously, very sad if a child leaves their parents' worldview and adopts another by, say, dating someone whose values run contrary to the values taught by the parents. The child's relationship with their parent is broken. But even though trust is broken, it is not accurate to say that the entire relationship is lost. The parent is still active in the relationship, seeking reconciliation, praying for change, seeking the betterment of the child.

Every good parent yearns the opposite to happen. They hope that when their child comes of age that they will not only continue to walk in the footsteps of the parents, but that the child will do so as an act of conscience free will and not simply like they did as an infant, trust merely because it was a innate impulse.

When that day comes it is glorious. It welcomes a new dawning of the relationship between parent and child. With the addition of free will into the relationship, new possibilities open up as the talents and interests of the parent and child can now interact in new and exciting ways as they treat each others in some respect as peers and not merely as parent and child.

This is wonderful, and there is a temptation to say, "there is a new relationship between us." But to say that is to inaccurately describe reality. Although the relationship looks very different, it is not an entirely new relationship, as though it were preceded by no relationship at all. The child's faith and trust in their parent looks entirely new, but it's not, its just more mature.

In this ideal scenario, the child had continuous faith in their parent, it just looked different at different points in the child's life. It's easy to celebrate the later stages because unlike earlier stages the child has used their free will to become more of an active participant in the relationship, but the earlier parts of the relationship are just important, if not more so. To elevate this later portion of the relationship as the only true part of the relationship is to glorify human free will and to slap the face of a parent who faithfully nurtured their child through the means of a relationship that spanned infancy to adulthood.

Afterthoughts--

Those earlier days when the child trusted the parent blindly allowed for a foundation to be built that the child could later stand on. As an adopted child who has recently found their birthparent will tell you, it may be exciting to discover your birthparent, but it will take years to have as much faith in them as they do of their adopted parents, a process prolonged by the fact that it is happening at a time when the child can think critically about a parent's intentions, whereas had the relationship began in childhood the child would have trusted them implicitly.

Obviously, God wants us to see a connection between the nature of our relationship to our parents and our Father Above.